On the Hunt...to Hunt

I'm not sure who exactly is at fault anymore for the whole shitty economy, but whoever the hell it is I want to kick their ass.

They say things are on the mend, that things are picking up. People are spending more money, blah blah blah. That's all well and good, but the job market still sucks, at least here in Boston.

I have been struggling since the end of January with the fear that I would walk into my office and be told I was no longer employed. My contract ending, and hiding under the radar from the likes of various HR people day to day. Ducking them in the elevators, hoping to go unnoticed. Hoping they wouldn't wonder "why is she still here?".

It's not that I didn't know it was coming. The way that contracting works is a whole re-tape nightmare. 1000 hours, no more. Once you hit the benchmark, you're 86'd and on your own. Usually.

I got a repreive of sorts, as the end of January neared, I was told I got an exemption, I was the exceptional exception and granted more time. The people I work with love me, I do my job well and efficiently. It was win-win really.

So as February neared it's close, I started to dread yet again. Is today the day? My contract exception in theory only gave me another month. And thus February came and went and we are now in the latter stages of March, and I get the word.

I had full hoped that the reason for my exception was to get me in permanent, as was the hope of my entire team. However, that elusive black cloud that stalks my life felt differently. Someone from "inside" the company is moving over to here. I got snaked out.

Now I like her, she's a great person who had been helpful to me the past 2 years, but I cannot help but harbor resentment towards her swooping in and stealing my job. I know technically she isn't, but hey I'm allowed to feel whatever the hell I want.

And now I am back on the hunt. Scouring and searching the internet for jobs. Applying to hundreds upon hundreds of positions, hoping that something pans out. Praying that by the time I am forced out the door mid-April that I will have a back-up. A new work place to call home.

I have an interview today. And it's not as positive a thing as one might think. You click "submit" resume over and over again only to be contacted by yet another staffing agency. I am working with 3 already and have an interview for a 4th today.

It's always the same. You walk in, you wait. You are forced to take some sort of remedial typing test on antiquated computers to show your skills. You are usually mentally drained from the out-of-the-way place they are located and likely got lost upon actually finding where the hell the building/office is located.

You plug away at the silly quest, typing what they want you to type, fiddling around in the land of Microsoft Office until your time is up.

You then meet with a phony person who asks you questions they have the answers to in front of them on your resume. You smile, you play along. It's all for the greater good right?

Wrong. I was laid off 5 months last year. Working on this premise that these staffing agencies were there for me. That they would help me in my endeavors. Yeah I found my OWN job back where I was let go from. And so I've been ever since.

So now I wait. Wait for the phone interview I have today in 6 minutes. Wait to travel the subways of Boston and walk blocks through the city today at 3pm to get lost and irritated by yet another useless agency who is supposedly there to help.

I need to make no less than what I do now to survive, to pay my bills that I barely am able to handle as it is. Yet the down-turned economy has most things starting out at close to $10 LESS than what I make hourly now. I don't know about you, but that's a HUGE pay cut.

I have to factor in commute time with Dylan's school. He has before and after care there, but they close at particular hours. I have to factor in traffic and unforeseen incidents into my travel plans.

I then get nudged to find something out of the city, closer to home. IN theory that would be phenomenal, but in reality, the pay is on a lower scale. Why this is, I have no idea, I didn't make the rules I just abide by them.

It's hard to plan your future when you have no idea what is going on in your present. What lies ahead in the next day let alone the next year or beyond. It's exhausting. It's stressful. It causes rifts in seemingly perfect relationships with people.

I just want to know the name and address of the fuckers who ruined it all, so I can hunt them down and beat them.