A Full Head of Hair and a Smile on My Face

Wow, I have never gone a month with out writing, but it's been a hell of a month.

The last day I blogged, I got laid off (again I know), bought a new car (after the accident and the whole insurance rigmarole) and we decided to have me and Dyl move in with my boyfriend and his kids.

Whole lot a changin' going on.

It's been a transition but a happy one. Lots of packing and throwing the majority of my apartment collectives away. No more mismatched hodgepodge furniture I collected as hand-me-downs from various relatives or yard sales.

I mean, the man bought me a new couch (beautiful sectional we special ordered, la-ti-da!), a new fridge (his may have been one of the first ever created. Light less and full of mystery things I'm sure in the vast dark corners it harbored), AND a new mattress set.

We are starting anew, moving forward together and things that more represent us together than as individuals. He in his testosterone palace (and I say this not because of nudey pictures of Budweiser signs all over his house because thankfully he was never that tasteless, but because it was he and his 2 boys for so many years) and me and Dylan in my picture and clutter laden existence.

I figure I held on to so many possessions because that was all I COULD hang on to. People came and went, jobs hired and fired. I moved a few times. All I had that was constant were what I could tangibly hold. Pictures to remind me of those gone by, of times gone by.

I was like an episode of Hoarders (as my Love and any friends or family have pointed out who have graciously helped me sort through my lunacy). Not trash per say or things that would set off flags to the Board of Health or anything, but stuff that I clearly didn't need or even know why I held on to.

Mail from 6 years ago? Yeah I have no idea why I never invested in a paper shredder because some of the crap I held on to made little to no sense. Old cell phones from 5 carriers ago that are now so obsolete they may belong in a technological museum.

But, I have been on a purge of that stuff. On a lot of other things. Cleaning out the clutter from my apartment also made me want to clean out the clutter of the rest of my life. People I don't need to talk to, a part of my past I would rather not remember. Moving up and moving on. And more importantly moving forward.

It's been nice that it's all happened while unemployed. I mean don't get me wrong, having no income sucks big time, but the time has been phenomenal. I have gotten to spend time with all 3 kids. I have gotten to hone my Suzy Homemaker skills.

I have had a few interviews, one that really wanted me but it just made no sense to take. Would be a 3 1/2 hour daily round trip commute on the subway, plus driving. So I would have ot pay for the train monthly plus parking daily AND then try to pay someone for before AND after school care for 3 kids. Having me get home not long before bed and then starting over again the next day. Yeah no thanks.

So I have had a couple other interviews with staffing firms that place outside and thankfully South of the city. I know the pay isn't as great, but if I can get it within a couple dollars at least and not have a horrible commute, it may all be worth it. Especially have combined incomes.

We have dreams, we have plans. We have a basic and fairly simple road map to our financial future. It's not Rocket Science (at least it doesn't seem that way now) and then we won't have to know struggle. I can't think of a time in my independent adult life I haven't known what its like to get a shut off notice, or to have to rely on some sort of government assistance.

Having a man in my life who is a hard worker and knows what the hell he is doing with his life is so unbelievably amazing. It's almost like a fictional character. I mean we've had our problems sure, but we have come back in such a strong way. In a better way, wanting to bring out the best in each other. Wanting nothing more than to make each other happy for the rest of our lives. Yup, I said it.

Case in point. After cooking dinner the other night, I was cleaning up and attempting to put the leftovers away. There is no Tupperware in this house. (Granted, that is because normally he would go to work and leave the containers behind, never to be seen or heard from again, but that's neither here nor there at this point) Exasperated about having to use zip-lock bags for things to put away, I sort of made a comment about needing Tupperware.

So a little time goes by after dinner, and my Love decides to inform me he is going to Target and asked if I needed a coffee. Do fish shit?! Of course I need coffee.

An hour or so goes by and in strolls my Fella, tossing a bag with a large box inside at me. Inside was a 32 piece set of various Tupperware (well Rubbermaid but who's counting?) containers and a second box with larger ones. I have never been happier to see food storage in my life.

Freaking adorable right?

The kids are transitioning well too. Dylan has his own room, with a brand new bed also courtesy of my Love. It's been like a modern Brady Bunch with way less kids, and obviously no daughters. Ok so it's actually nothing like the Brady Bunch at all. Shut it.

But it's my life and I am unbelievably happy. Even jobless right now I am happy. I get to fall asleep every night in the arms of a man I love more than anything. I get to wake up and see the faces of 3 kids who I love and who are acting more and more like brothers every day. Kids who have known each other since the youngest was 2 1/2. Now almost 7, 7 and 11.

I cook and clean all day and live in the laundry room, and am oddly loving every minute of it. Don't get me wrong though the day I get a job I will be freaking jumping for joy to get out of the damn house every day, but I'm ok for now. I'm not upset about sleeping in and enjoying the days with the kids, and days off with my Love on a random Tuesday.

At least while it's summer. Check back in a month, I may be bald by then from pulling my hair out. But right now, I have a full head of hair and a smile on my face.