Thursday, September 5, 2013

Something like that.

You know that sucks?

Knowing that something isn't right. Knowing that you cause each other more hurt than good and making the intensely difficult choice to walk away. Knowing that you can love and hate someone at the very same time. Having to block someone from being able to contact you because you know if you see it it will kill you. Constantly unblocking them to see if and when they tried to contact you. Trying to move on and not being able to. Seeing them write the words they are in love with someone else and feeling like every organ in your body aside from your tear ducts have stopped working.

Knowing you deserve better than to be constantly reminded of every mistake you'd ever made or shortcoming you had yet still not being able to imagine your life without someone even though being with them was slowly killing you. Knowing you are doing everything you can to make your life better and feeling empty. Feeling like you don't deserve anything better than the hell you've been put through. Feeling like you'll never be good enough. Knowing you need to keep doing what you're doing even though it's hard and trying to be optimistic that something good will come of it.

Yeah. Something like that.
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