Found On Road Dead

If it wasn't for bad luck, I swear I'd have none. The clichest of cliche's. I know it ad nausea. Like the back of my hand, like a childhood story read to me over and over I could recite it in my sleep.

In the past week, I became jobless, my car broke down not one but three times, and I was again reminded why I had chosen to walk away from a once very important person in my life.

My last week at work was sad, mellow. Oddly enough Administrative Professional's week, which I just so happened to be. And I didn't go unappreciated. I got beautiful flowers on Wednesday, I got a lovely handmade scarf. On my last day I got taken out to a fantastic lunch.

It was just, sad. 2 years I spent there with those people. 2 years of getting to know people, to know about their kids, their families. Know their day to day personalities. It's been 5 days now, and I miss them.

The car, a whole other can of worms.

Not just worms. Flesh eating, mind-numbing, science fiction kinds of worms. Set out to destroy the planet. Well maybe not the planet, but me. Little by little. Slowly but surely by removing pieces of sanity bit by bit.

First, my belt goes. Yes, sounds nothing enough, but no, it wasn't. The entire thing vanished into thin air. Magically. As though abducted by aliens.

I go to the gas station on Thursday morning, on my way to work, my last Thursday mind you. Fill-er up. GO to turn on the car again, and the battery light is suddenly on. Weird. Now the wheel is impossibly hard to turn. What the deuce?!

The gas station attendant hasn't the foggiest what happened in the say, 5 minutes since I had pulled into the station. So I struggle with the wheel, like what I imagine turning an entire steamship by myself in the early parts of the century was like.

I get to Dylan's school, drop him off. I pull into yet another gas station. I explain the issue. Mechanic is on vacation. Stellar. They tell me I can leave it until Monday. Are you fucking nuts? It's Thursday you idiots and I have shit to do!

They top off my power steering fluid, and again I trudge off, all the while making a plethora of phone calls to my triad of car gurus...the boyfriend, the brother and the pseudo brother/neighbor...to see who will answer first.

I someone make it to my mothers. Apparently my belt had vanished, and I was running on what little voltage I had left. I was almost dead. Who knew? (ok apparently the "car" people knew, but me the vehicularly challenged not so much)

My wonderful boyfriend drove an hour from his house to my mother's on his day off, kids in tow (as it was still school vacation) to fix belt. Stopped on the way to pick up the belt at Auto supply store.

Yeah, about that.

As he gets about done with the belt install, he realizes the morons at the Auto store gave him the wrong belt. Poor bastard has to UNDO the entire thing he has just struggled to install, and go BACK to the store, return it and get the right belt. Yes, my car is apparently Satan.

SO now, new belt in hand, he returns, puts belt on successfully. YAY!

6 days later I am about to get on the highway, and I hear a squealing sound. Hmm. That's not good. A squealing sound them followed by slapping. I pull over, open the hood. The goddamn belt, the 6 day old belt had SHREDDED. Yes that's right.

Problem all over again.

Are you fucking serious?!

So since I was on my way to meet my boyfriend to actually help HIM by meeting him at a dealership to pick him up as he got HIS car fixed, he now had to leave, drive 40 minutes to come get me by the side of the road, then go to Auto store, again get belt and put another one in my car.

This time in the rain on the side of the road.

Um, can we say how much I love this man by the way?

So now, car has new belt, and am gingerly on my way...again.

Only to have the starter in my car DIE the next day in the parking lot of my best friends hair salon.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

Car is officially out to get me. Wants me to suffer severe anxiety and cry. Ok so I DID cry.

Had car towed to my house and is literally being worked on in my driveway as we speak (type) by pseudo brother.

If anyone ever had any doubts of the Evil Vortex that lived in my driveway and was out to get me and kill all my cars, it has now found me at my new address, and it has a serious vendetta.

Bastard.