Friday, August 7, 2009

Road Rage Barbie

Ok, deep breath…

I am about to admit to you all something that is difficult for me to say out loud. Why I chose now to do so, who knows, but alas, here I am after a tedious morning commute sitting gingerly at my desk, where I should be doing work....yet I feel I should be confessing. Yes, feel free to don your best Priestly attire...I, my friends, have road rage.

Phew, what a relief to get that out in the open!

Now it’s not like the typical angry man you see on the news who will get out of his car and beat someone on the side of the road kind of road rage no, but I somehow turn into Road Rage Barbie behind the wheel of my car and I have no idea how this transition happens exactly.

Its a scary metamorphosis really. Like my Ford Focus becomes some sort of super alien pod that sucks me into a new and unusual personality and I am instantly a more aggressive and angrier person. Speeding and swerving and swearing like a sailor.

Now I get it, I live in a city. Well, I work there at least. And they say that Boston drivers are some of the worst most offensive drivers in the country. And I guess the best defense is to have the best offense right? Right?!

Well this got me thinking this morning. Yes thing morning, as I cruised in and out of lanes, bobbing and weaving like a boxer, listening to Bittersweet Symphony and thinking of that late 90's video, the lead singer much like myself in my Focus, pushing his way where he needed to go, not caring who was in his way, clad in leather, cool and collected....

Ok so I wasn't cool and collected, I was yelling to myself at the idiot in front of me on the highway who decided the brakes were as good as the gas. I was also not wearing a snazzy leather jacket but you get the point...

I was thinking about the whole offense being a good defense and how I think I have transferred my road rage into my real life.

Have I become so adjusted to making my way, to making sure I get where I am going and not getting hurt that have become so focused that I have the mindset of being that guarded? Am I like a traffic lane, in my head? Not letting anyone else in for fear it may cut me off? Cause an accident? Derail me?

I know I know, the metaphors are killing you. But have I become so callous and jaded that I too have become a Bittersweet Symphony?

I know the road has been rough, bumpy and well, downright full of dead ends a lot of the time. I think I need a new map. Screw maps actually. I have a GPS with the voice of Darth Vader!! I should be able to find my way out of the Dark Side no problem shouldn’t I?

Maybe there's hope for me yet.

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