Friday, May 28, 2010
Who Needs a House When You're Skinny?
Reason number 2 I wish I didn't take another job?
I miss the gym.
I actually miss having time to go spend 1-2 hours sweating like a fat man in a sauna and busting my ass to get my ASS looking good. Well, not just my ass, my abs, legs, arms...you get the picture.
Every month I watch as my monthly gym membership is deducted from my bank account. Most of the time I am unable to go. I have no time, no energy and no babysitter to attempt to get my jiggly ass to the gym.
But when I was out of work, damn I was dedicated.
That whole one week I was laid off, I would drop Dylan off at school and I would go to the gym. Hop on an elliptical machine for 20 minutes to warm up. I would then circuit around to various machines. I would do crunches on ab machines, I would do legs and arms and triceps and biceps. I would do my low weight, high repetition little circles around the gym, because I wanted to slim down not bulk up!
Now mind you, the ole "fanny pack" area known as my mid-section where I once housed an over 8lb child is still and will likely remain an issue, until I get someone with an MD, a knife and a vacuum involved, but I felt I was making progress.
Now I just feel gross. Bloated and fat and squishy and completely undesirable.
Oh sure, I have the best breasts mother nature has to offer, but once they turn on me like the rest of me has and decide to stop defying gravity, I'm toast. Burnt toast.
I could have had the summer off. Collecting unemployment and filling my days with the Jersey Shore-esque ways of GTL. What a life! I mean, I would have likely been homeless by the end of it since I would have been broker then broke but shit! I would have been tan and skinny!
Who needs a home when you're tan and skinny?!