Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Cervical Biopsy and Sarcasm, my favorite

Posted on August 2, 2008 at 9:00pm
OK so its been a while since I have logged into the Planet and I hope my peeps are all hanging in there. Summer being the hectic beast that it is and all. Nothing like having to cram all your fun in between the work you have to do in order to afford any of it.

So. I had a biopsy on Thursday. Yup. That's right. Me. The ever-supportive Cancer friend is now in the fearful ranks of the "What-ifs"

Back in May (I might as well start at the beginning) I had my oh-so-happy annual girly appointment. You know the one we ALL look forward to. That morning we wake up and get up close and personal with a metal clamp and an over sized Q-Tip. Good times.

Obviously this is nothing out of the ordinary, since I have been having them done since I was 16 and deemed old enough to handle it. All of my 12 years of this fun have been coming up with normal results until this past May. Because my medical like needs to obviously be more compounded than it already is.

So I get a call 3 times from my OB that it wasn't normal. I finally call them and they make it seem like its no big deal and they'll test me again in 6 months. OK, then why call me 3 times? I begin to wonder that and I call again and ask more questions. So, my OB calls again, at 8pm at my house from her PERSONAL cell phone and says after looking at things again she'd like to do things in 8 weeks. Big difference from 6 months.

So, I get scheduled for a Colposcopy and a "potential" biopsy if they see anything that looks suspect. So I go in and they have their fun with my girly parts and they end up seeing something they deem "worthy" of a biopsy. Awesome.

So then they gob me up with some funky substance, just what I want more crap in my innards. Snip snip and done. Sort of like a medical slam bam, thank you mam. Now I have to wait a week to find out what the Deuce is going on with my happy cervix.

Or not-so-happy whatever the case may be.

So now I have been having leftover pieces of my innards falling out and feeling over "not-so-fresh" like some sort of bad 80's mother-daughter douche commercial. I know right, I over-share. You love it.

But the kicker is I know that Cervical Cancer is the sloth of the cancer family and is a slow grower, so all this could just mean I'll eventually get some sort of problem. 2 of my aunts had it at my age so I know the heredity issue is there.

Then there's the kid fear. Now that I have had a biopsied Cervix, should I ever want another kid (not that I plan on it, since I tell everyone my son will be an only child til I die, but still) I will have to be watched like a hawk because my guts are apparently now fragile and what not. Thanks. If this is all because I maybe didn't shower right before my last appointment I'm gonna be pissed.

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