Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Never Underestimate the Power of Cleavage

Posted Date: : Jan 5, 2009 5:15 PM
You've all seen the t-shirts. "Tell your breasts to stop staring at my eyes", "Those boobs look heavy, may I hold them for you?" or hell even "They're real, and they're spectacular"

There is an unspoken (or even obnoxiously spoken) obsession with the pectoral region of the female anatomy that some how has mystical powers. The ability to stupefy even the most articulate of men. To somehow render your money useless and start the drinks flowing freely. It's a magical and wondrous occurrence really. I know myself, have been lumped into bodacious tata categories time and time again.

My best friend Kelly is getting that power back folks. That's right. Those lovely lady lumps are coming back with a vengeance. And not only that, but her humor about it has never left.

When Kel got diagnosed with breast cancer, she was of course scared, upset, etc. Every possible emotion I could probably never even fathom all at once. But she was so undeniably poignant. She was grateful she had a cancer that was able to be removed. She had a cancer they could just lop off. Not in her bones, not in her blood, not in an organ. In a part of her body yes that made her a woman, that made her who she was, BUT that could be taken away easily.

Not that her surgery was easy by any means, but easier than had it been another form of cancer mind you. Easier than a lot of you others struggling with the vile disease have it. Sure she had chemo, and radiation. She got sick, she lost her hair, had 3rd degree burns from the radiation, but she remained herself. She had a mastectomy and she laughed the whole time. As you know, we are largely inappropriate. I mean really, the Una-boober?

So in 3 weeks, Kel gets her womanhood back. When she learned of her reconstruction and the way they do it, she didn't just look at it as another surgery. She didn't think of the grueling healing process or the 2 step process to retrieve muscle and skin and tissue from her abdomen to make the new breast. No.

She's getting a free tummy tuck and a boob job. A perky set of new cleavage ready to take on the world and get some free drinks again. Some low cut shirts and bra's that don't require people to be on prosthetic patrol.

Not only is this bitch my best friend.......she's my freakin hero.

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